Obi Wantelope Kenobi

My brother Tim created this inspiring work of art about 20 years ago. I've been carrying it around with me everywhere I've ever lived ever since it was conceived. I thought it was time to share it with the world.

Perhaps with the release of the new Star Wars: The Clone Wars animated film, this Jedi-antelope hybrid will find an appreciative audience. I totally love it. It's like a centaur gone horribly wrong.

Sick of Summer, Welcome Autumn: a look back in photos

I'm sick of Summer. Thank goodness that Fall officially arrived on Sunday. I'm tired of being hot and sweaty. I want to wear pants. I want to wear a coat. I want to be cool and dry. Although I'm thrilled to be entering my favorite season of Autumn, I thought it might be fun to reflect on some of my favorite moments of this past season, the Summer of 2008.

The first highlight was Dawn's 20 year high school reunion, held in Escanaba, MI over the 4th of July weekend. Here's me and my girl on our way to the big reunion dinner. It was fun to see old friends, and remember those glorious Reagan years. They played Rick Springfield during the dance. I love Rick.

Had some great musical opportunites this past Summer, and the big highlights were getting to play on the main stage of some festivals here in the Midwest. In mid July I did a series of performances at LiFest in OshKosh, WI. I got to perform on the main stage with my long-time collaborators Beki Hemingway and Echelon. Here are some cool shots of that set, photographed by the media-queen Tracy Apps.



Then, at the end of July, I got to play a couple sets on the main stage at FinnFest 2008 in Duluth, MN, one of them with an acclaimed country/bluegrass band from Finland, the Ninni Poijarvi Trio. Here are some photos taken by my Mom from my soundcheck on that amazing stage overlooking the city on one side, the harbor on the other. What a venue!

More celebrity lookalikes at age 37

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph

It's been kind of a fun tradition for me to use the MyHeritage face recognition software somewhere around my birthday each year. Here are the results for a couple of current photos of yours truly. I'm 37 years old now, a prime number. I guess the thing about my current age that seems kind of new for me is that, more so than ever before, I FEEL old, and I feel like I LOOK old, too. Not old, like 80, but old like, somebody's suburban Dad. Which is what I am. I'm struggling with some body image issues these days, but at the same time, I'm also developing a more pronounced "who cares" attitude about it. It's as if I'm getting MORE and LESS worried about it at the same time.

My job is to stand on stage in front of groups of people, and I think that that reality contributes to my struggles with my physical appearance. I imagine it's true for anybody with an "up front" profession: teachers, pastors, TV newscasters, even sales people. But folks in the performing arts, especially. And of course I'm totally aware of the truth of life, and of After-School-Specials: it's what's on the inside that counts. But the fallen nature of humanity is forcing me to be a bit too self-aware. At least I have a computer to tell me that I look like Hilary Duff and Glenn Danzig. There's some relief in that, I suppose.

My celebrity lookalikes at age 37

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celeb - Collage - Morph

A musical weekend in Arizona

Just got home today from a weekend at the Mexican border. I don't get down to Arizona very often, and I always enjoy the drastic change of scenery.

Spent the weekend in Sierra Vista, just a few miles from the Mexican line. Got stopped by the Border Patrol and everything! They had me roll down my window, and asked me "State your citizenship, please, sir." I answered loudly "United States!" and the guy waved me on. It was a strange feeling...I got a big swell of national pride at that moment. The same way I feel when I've traveled abroad. Usually, I'm not exactly John McCain when it comes to patriotism, but when I'm literally looking another country in the face I experience a deep connection to the USA.

I played for a youth retreat in the mountains from Friday to Sunday and had a great time with everyone there. Highlights included leading music for the Compline setting out of the LBW (nerd alert!) and climbing up a mountainside switchback trail to a Catholic shrine way up high overlooking the desert. We could see the Mexican border road off in the distance, as if somebody drew a black line with a Sharpie marker across a giant map of North America. I've been to Tijuana from San Diego a couple times in my life, but I'd never been out in the middle of the desert before and seen that man-made divider stretching across the valley. I kept thinking how weird it was that the USA was on this side, and another country was on the other....obviously, the two sides looked exactly the same. Strange that some dude a hundred-plus years ago decided that's where the border should be. It's just a made-up line in the sand, but man, what a serious line it is.

Here's a shot from a house concert I played last night in Tucson. I was the guest of folks from Our Saviours Lutheran Church (they've got a super-speedy blog). A couple from the church hosted the show at their beautiful home in the foothills. We hung out by the pool beneath the full moon and had grilled salmon for dinner. Then I played in their living room. I was excited to test drive some songs from my brand new album Insomniaccomplishments, including "If You Have a Question," "Dialysis Carpool," and the timely "Daniel & Peter & Thomas" (Rather, Jennings, and Brokaw), plus I played some selections from the Heartland Liturgy, and a cover of "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" by the Police. Thanks to Lars, and the young adult group from OSLC!

Paavo, cigarettes, and The Rolling Stones

For at least a year, my 4-year-old son Paavo has been fascinated and curious about cigarettes. Whenever he sees someone smoking, he gets very serious, points the person out to me, and then asks me questions about smoking for at least an hour. When he sees cigarette butts discarded on the sidewalk, he gets very disturbed. He cannot fathom why anyone would choose to smoke if they know that smoking is bad for them. And he can't understand addiction...he doesn't get that for some people, it's almost impossible to quit.

When I fold laundry in our basement playroom (sometimes for hours a day!), I like to put music/concert videos on TV to have something to watch as I fold. Paavo enjoys concert videos, and always learns the names of each musician, and what instrument they play. We've watched a bunch of music DVDs...Tom Petty, Crowded House, Genesis, Telluride Folk Festival, and many more .

A couple weeks ago I found a quadruple DVD of the Rolling Stones 2002 "Forty Licks" tour, so I've been slowly going through the nearly seven hours of footage as I match up dozens and dozens of pairs of tiny pink socks. Paavo is interested in the Stones, I think because they're so old, and their songs are good. Paavo's favorite Stones song is "It's Only Rock and Roll (but I like it)."

As we've watched the videos, Paavo is very concerned when Ron Wood and Keith Richards smoke cigarettes while on stage. We've also seen tour documentary footage of Mick Jagger's health and workout and nutrition routines...as you can imagine, Mick has to keep himself in ridiculously high levels of physical health, so he doesn't smoke. Charlie Watts (drums) doesn't smoke either. But Ronnie and Keith puff away unapologetically. Here are some questions I've been fielding for the past couple weeks, many many times a day.

+ Dad, why do Keith and Ronnie smoke?
+ Do they know that it's bad for them?
+ Why did Charlie and Mick quit smoking?
+ How come Keith and Ronnie can't quit?
+ How can Ronnie hold his cigarette and play his guitar at the same time?
+ What does Keith do with his cigarette when he's not holding it?

I could go on for days.

I guess it's either this topic, or Star Wars related stuff, like:

+ When Han and Luke took the Stormtrooper costumes, what were the Stormtrooper actors left wearing?
+ How can Yoda be so powerful, and be so small?

Losing compassion for Compassion International.

Now I shall open a can of worms. Let's see if the snit will hit the fan with this one. I'm losing compassion for Compassion International. (Wow...I'm already barraged by guilty feelings just by typing this!)

In case you don't know, Compassion International is a major non-profit Christian organization that works around the world to save children from poverty. They provide opportunities for people to sponsor children in developing countries, and the money goes to the child for food, clothes, school, and Christian education.

MY INTRODUCTION TO COMPASSION INTERNATIONAL

I first heard about Compassion back in the early '90s when I began to notice that Christian Rock Musicians were promoting the organization from the stage, at their display tables, and even in their CD inserts. Not too long after that, some musical friends of mine became "Compassion Artists" and included promotions for Compassion in their own performances. By the mid-'90s, some of my personal friends had become Compassion sponsors, donating money each month to help an individual child (or two, or three), with the kids' photos on their refrigerator.

When I would play shows on tour, and share the bill with Compassion bands, and hear keynote speakers do their presentations, I'd always get a slight case of the willies...something about the way that the artists did the pitch from the stage, and the huge stack of children's photos in plastic wrap at the back of the venue. And then, the frenzy of audience members after the show sifting through packets of kids, deciding which kid they'd like to "take home" and sponsor. Of course, I also felt a thread of guilt about my own feelings...how could I be so cold, that I didn't "get" this kind of service project? The years went by, and I never sponsored a child.

SHOWBIZ TEMPTATION

By the early 2000s, I had been hearing about Compassion International for a decade. Some friends of mine (who I really trust and respect) had even gone on to work full-time for the organization, working out of the corporate offices in Colorado. These friends show nothing but dedication and complete belief in the cause, so I always think to myself "Well, if THEY believe in the work so much, it MUST be really awesome."

I continued to connect with musicians who had become Compassion Artists, and I was quite amazed at the opportunities that these artists received. Compassion flies their artists around the globe to the areas where the sponsored children live, and the artist can personally meet and connect with the child(ren) they've been sponsoring, and see the effectiveness of the ministry in person. Then when the musician returns to the concert tour, they're even more passionate and committed to the work that Compassion is doing and they'll promote it even more from the stage. Personal friends of mine were jetting around the world to developing countries and seeing some truly powerful things.

A few years ago I was at a meeting with an up-and-coming Christian Rock musician who had really experienced a boom in his career. We weren't talking about outreach or service...we were talking about showbiz...and when asked "What was one of the best decisions you made in your music career?" the performer talked about the benefits of affiliating with a child sponsorship organization....they'd gather the artists for training sessions in retreat centers, offer free seminars with Nashville producers/consultants on improving your performances, fly you around the globe to meet your sponsored child, allow you to network with and befriend successful Christian rock stars, and get you booked on major festival stages with big name acts. Of course, he was very good about couching all of this in the context of "ministry" and "saving children from poverty," etc. He wasn't acting like a jerk about it, but man, it sounded pretty glamorous to me.

Despite the lures of good networking, world travel, bigger gigs, and yes, the opportunity to connect a little self-less-ness to my personal musical ambitions, I never signed on to be a Compassion Band. The whole thing still gave me a very slight case of the creeps.

THE GUILT COMES ON

A couple years ago Tony Campolo was speaking a few blocks away from my house at a big church. If you don't know about Tony, he's one of the most influential Christians in America, and Lutherans have sort of "adopted" him as one of our own (he's Baptist, I think), because he's got a real ELCA-like approach to social justice. I'd seen Tony speak at a bunch of Lutheran events, and I always enjoy his talks, so I went to see him in my own neighborhood. As usual, his lecture was exciting and funny and loud and emotional, and he whipped the audience into a frenzy, like he always does. At the end of the talk, he launches into a pitch for Compassion International. I didn't know Tony was a Compassion Artist! Interesting. Now, as a Lutheran, I'm very sensitive to calls for works-righteousness, and I can always see the red flags waving when that kinda stuff is coming around the bend.

Tony looks at the crowd and says "I'm not saying you have to sponsor a child tonight, in order to get to heaven....(uh oh, I'm thinking)....BUT, when you die and you walk up to St. Peter at those pearly gates and he reads from the scriptures 'whatever you've done for the least of these, you've done it to me,' and asks you 'What have you done for the least of these?' ...then you can know you've sponsored a Compassion child and rescued them from poverty!!" And I got that queasy feeling that I've felt before at non-Lutheran, fundy-Christian events...and I left feeling depressed and ticked. BUT, over the years I've been sort of brainwashed to think that Tony Campolo is the best Christian example and best Christian thinker/spokesman that we could ever ask for, so I'm actually BELIEVING what he said!! I'm having these feelings like "Campolo said that if I sponsor a child, I can prove my worthiness at the gates of heaven! Maybe I'd better do it, just in case all this Lutheran talk about grace doesn't pan out in the end." Like I'm gonna use Compassion International as a Tony Campolo-sponsored insurance policy for eternal life. I still didn't sponsor a child that night, but man, the pressure was on.

I CAVE

Last Fall I was just about to tell Dawn (my wife) that I thought we should sponsor a Compassion kid. I had seen the mess that was Hurricane Katrina, the ongoing crap in Iraq and Darfur, natural disasters in China, and everything else in the news, and I wanted to do ANYTHING to make some sort of positive difference in this world. It seemed like Compassion would be a good way to help out a bit. But I never told her...I was just thinking about it.

I'd also been reading the blog by Christian musician Shaun Groves. I've never met Shaun or heard his music, but he's a good blogger, so I always checked out his commentary from the road. He's a Compassion Artist, and throughout his career he became so dedicated to Compassion, that rather than being a musician who promotes Compassion, he became a Compassion advocate who happens to play music. Here's a link to a typical Shaun blog post...these days his blog is pretty much all Compassion International, all the time. Perhaps I was being brainwashed by Shaun Groves. He was gonna come to Minneapolis a few months ago to do a free seminar with Christian musicians about affiliating with Compassion, and I thought about going to hear the pitch, but the seminar got canceled.

Finally, we were visiting some friends last October, and I knew that they'd sponsored a Compassion child for many years. I'd always seen the kid's photo on their fridge. I told our friend "You know, I see that you still sponsor a child through Compassion, and I've been thinking it's time that Dawn and I do it, too." My friend got a shocked look on her face, and the whole room got really quiet. She stood up and walked in the other room, came back to where I was sitting and dropped a Child Packet on my lap...a photo of little Emily from Ecuador. My friend said to me, amazed: "I had agreed to help Compassion with a promotion, and I had committed to find a sponsor for one child by October 26th. I've been so busy that I have not done any work to get this child sponsored...today is October 26th, here's the kid." It was one of those coincidences that someone like Sarah Palin would call "The Lord at work." Dawn and I took Emily's packet home, did the paperwork and sponsored her. I was now a Compassion sponsor, after more than a decade of avoiding it. We put her picture on our fridge.

SECOND THOUGHTS

Soon after Emily's photo went up in the kitchen I began to have some regrets, but I couldn't explain why. As 2008 began, I got some signs that maybe we should back out of the deal. After we agreed to sponsor Emily, Compassion International sent us the big kit with instruction on how to write to her, encourage her, and develop a relationship with her. Sadly, I was not surprised to see what was written in the literature for new sponsors. Here are some direct quotes:

from the guidebook entitled Compassion Answers Your Questions About Child Sponsorship:
"we will not forward materials depicting ...the living out of a homosexual lifestyle."

and, from the "Your Letter" form, where you can write a message to your child:
"Please do not send communications...or comments condoning sexual relationships outside the heterosexual marriage covenant"

I also found out that Compassion shares a Statement of Faith with the National Association of Evangelicals. Yes, that's right, Ted Haggard (okay I shouldn't have brought him up, I regret it, he has nothing to do with my general point about the NEA...thanks Shaun for helping me not distract from my point), and all the Biblical interpretation that comes with that crowd.

Aw man, I didn't know any of this when I signed up!! As a Christian who stands for full inclusion (ordination, marriage, etc.) in the church for gays and lesbians, what am I supposed to do about this?

I know it's a free country, and Compassion is free to include or exclude anybody they want. If they want to pass a rule that they only take heterosexual donations, that's fine. But, that doesn't mean I have to like that rule, or stay in this arrangement with them. I know some wonderful gay couples at my church who would have a fifty dollar bill that would really help some kid in Ecuador, and I think it's lame that they're forbidden to have both their names on the return address label.
(YES YES YES, before you angrily comment, I know that the local churches in these other countries that Compassion partners with share their same conservative values, and Compassion is trying to support the values of the local congregations! I get it. I just wish it wasn't so, and I don't like being involved with it. If you love it, then you and Sarah Palin can sponsor a Compassion kid and feel great about it.)

EVEN MORE SECOND THOUGHTS

Now here's the icing on the cake. As I struggled with this problem, I went to my mailbox last winter and received an issue of The Lutheran magazine, featuring an in depth article on the work of Lutheran World Relief and the ELCA World Hunger Appeal. It was a crystal-clear and inspiring article, and right there was a column called "Why Not Child Sponsorship?" Again, it was one of those moments that could be interpreted as divine intervention. Now I had actual evidence that giving all this money each month to Compassion International might not be the best stewardship of my funds.

WHAT NOW?

So, I'm really temped to pull the plug on my sponsorship of Emily, and write a polite but clear letter to the folks at Compassion International about the reasons I'm getting out. I haven't done it yet. I'm still sending the money to Emily, and none to LWR. I haven't had time to think much about it, or actually write the letter and do the paperwork. I'm too busy changing diapers and folding laundry and driving to preschool and making sure Svea doesn't fall down the porch steps.

I've been wanting to share this story for months and months, and feels good to blog about it. Does anybody relate to what I've been through? Any opinions about what I should do?

By the way, here's another blog about a Lutheran struggling with Compassion International.

John Hagee condemns me (and Todd Palin?) to Hell

I've been trying to figure out what to say about this, but I think I'll just let it speak for itself.

It's kind of timely...yesterday after a great gig at Augsburg College I went out to eat with the other band members, Nate Houge and Justin Rimbo...both stay-at-home-Dads like me (and Todd Palin?), and we had our kids with us at the gig. Very rock and roll. See you in hell, boys.