City Pages, Rapture Ready, and Rolling Stone: Undercover in Christian weirdness

Three times in the past two months I’ve come across a common story idea in pop-culture journalism:

Non-Christian journalist goes undercover at a Christian event to expose “the real story!”

The first article I saw like this was written by a local journalist who sneakily attended a Catholic-sponsored TEC (Teens Encounter Christ) retreat. Here’s the link to the story “Jesus Weekend” by Matt Snyders which appeared in the March 5th issue of City Pages here in Minneapolis.

Then, in early April, Daniel Radosh’s book Rapture Ready was released nationally. One chapter of the book features Daniel volunteering as a cast member for a Branson, Missouri-area large scale Passion Play.

Now, in the most recent issue of Rolling Stone, I discovered another piece along the same lines. Here’s the link to Matt Taibbi’s article “Jesus Made me Puke” from the May 1st issue of RS, where he goes undercover for an Encounter weekend sponsored by the Texas megachurch of televangelist John Hagee.

In each article, the author is a “secular” type, going into the situation with some pretty skeptical and cynical notions of what will be going on. The results for each writer, though, are different...especially in tone.

Snyders’ piece from City Pages doesn’t dredge up anything too offensive or surprising (to me anyway). Poor and/or boring retreat programming is probably the greatest sin these Catholic retreat leaders commit during the course of the weekend. When I was a teenager, I attended a Catholic-sponsored TEC weekend like the one Snyders writes about, and for me, it was a very educational, inspiring, and positive experience. As a sheltered Finnish-Lutheran, I’d never done church stuff with Catholics before, and I left the event completely impressed with their seriousness, devotion, and general spiritual vibe. Judging from the article, this particular TEC weekend was kinda lame, with some “rah rah, stand up against the evil world” theology, but for all the author’s promise of scandal, the whole article pretty much peters out in the end.

Regarding the Radosh book (which I’ve blogged about already), I still haven’t finished it yet. However, it’s obvious that although poor Daniel ends up encountering some pretty dim Christians, and some pretty embarrassing Christian behavior, the author goes through it all with great respect, patience, and understanding. The dirt he uncovers in the process is certainly stuff that the American Right-Wing Church has to deal with, and I can’t wait to read further in the book to see what other craziness awaits.

Matt Taibbi is a very funny, and very R-rated political writer for Rolling Stone, who is wide open and public with his disgust and loathing for The Christian Right in America. Needless to say, he goes into his weekend retreat expecting some psycho nutcases, and yup, sure enough, he finds ‘em. The stuff going on during the weekend retreat run by the folks at Cornerstone Church is all the classic militant, macho, brainless, and manipulative crap you might imagine. It makes for a very entertaining read, but it leaves a very depressing aftertaste.

So what is it about these stories that gives me such a queasy vibe? ‘Cause really, even though I’m a church-goer myself, I tend to relate more to the undercover writers than the unsuspecting Christians in these stories. Here’s what bugs me: ALL Christians end up looking dumb/lame/crazy/dangerous when these stories are written (even if the author tries to say otherwise). Most young, hip, cynical readers of all these publications think poorly of people of faith already, and these pieces just stoke the fire.

I also think about how many church retreats I’ve participated in, planned, and/or facilitated. Hundreds! Beginning with church camp in the Summer, back in elementary school, through the Vocation training event I played music at in Milwaukee two weeks ago. Now, in the past 30 years, I have seen some stupid crap going down at events like this...BUT, for the most part these events have changed my life dramatically for the better, and the lives of the other participants, too. There IS a way to structure and facilitate an experience like that without being a psycho nutcase.

After reading these three pieces, I find myself wanting to read the same kind of journalism in reverse. You know, something like this:

+ Liberal Christian Journalist goes undercover at Conservative Secular retreat (how could this even happen?)

It’s hard to think of how to explore the same idea turned upside down. Hmmm....

Okay, how about this:

+ Non-Christian Journalist goes undercover in liberal mainline-Protestant church event!

I can imagine some of the shocking revelations when a secular, cynical, liberal reporter spends a weekend at a Synod Youth Gathering sponsored by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America:

“They spent an entire hour one afternoon talking about the evils of Bottled Water, and the damage it does to the environment!”

“A group of teenagers choreographed and performed a liturgical dance to one of the Psalms!”

“They passed around a bucket and collected an offering to help women entrepreneurs in developing nations get micro-loans for their small businesses!”

“By Sunday morning they had assembled 40 quilts to go to Hurricane relief in New Orleans!”

“There were no altar calls, no psychological manipulation, no exorcisms, and no speaking in tongues!”

“They prayed for peace in Iraq!”

After all this radical behavior gets exposed, I imagine many readers of mags like City Pages and Rolling Stone would say “Wow, that sounds a lot like the kind of behavior I agree with! I even respect people like this!”

Hey you Lutherans, Methodists, Episcopalians, Presbyterians, UCCers, and other Mainline folks! We have so much to offer the world! Let’s provide a voice of reason in the screwed up world of American Christianity, and maybe WE’LL get some media coverage of our own! Oh, and to you, Rolling Stone...if you want to send a reporter on tour with ME someday, to a series of church concerts, or youth gatherings, I'd love to have the company! And we'd all appreciate an extra person to help us with quiltmaking, food-pantry shelving, Habitat For Humanity house building, communion distribution, and conga-line dancing.

FREE MP3 "I Got a Problem (acoustic demo)" and commentary

Here's me in the studio of my former home a few years ago. 'Twas in that room and on that chair back in 2003 that I made this acoustic demo recording of the song "I Got a Problem."

CLICK HERE to download a free MP3 of "I Got a Problem (acoustic demo)"

The journey of this song has been a strange one. Below are all the details, plus the lyrics.

"I Got a Problem" was written on May 31, 2003, in the same creative cycle that resulted in "Librarian," "Every Town's the Same," "List of Things to Do," and "You Never Last Where You Land." I was riding a nice songwriting wave, and submitting dozens of tunes to producer Walter Salas-Humara, who was assembling the final songs for what would become my album Public Library. In August of that Summer I recorded acoustic demos of my final group of songs for Walter to consider. All the songs listed above went out together. I loved them all, and was sure they were destined for that unfolding album project. Much to my surprise, some of my "assumed hits" that I had written did not make the cut for the new recording project, and so a group of songs from that era ended up homeless ("List of Things To Do" and "You Never Last Where You Land" found a place on the duet album Tennesota that I recorded with Beki Hemingway). "I Got a Problem" didn't really fit anywhere at the time, so it sat unheard and unplayed for a couple years.

Public Library came out in 2004, and by 2005 I was finalizing a pile of church-related songs for my forthcoming Protestant Rock Ethic double-CD. I really really really wanted an outlet for "I Got A Problem," but alas, the song had no church-music connection at all, so it seemed like another album would come and go, leaving this tasty little song unreleased yet again. Undeterred, I decided to stick it on the Protestant Rock Ethic album anyway, and I justified its inclusion by attaching a Bible verse to it in the album liner notes, Romans 7:15: "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." I had felt a connection to this verse when writing the song, so it seemed like a good connection to make, in order to include this church-free song on a church-heavy album.

The recording of the full-band version was tedious, to say the least, but it resulted in one of my proudest moments as an arranger and instrumentalist. Once the song missed the cut for Public Library, I knew that someday I wanted to have a killer full-band recording of it. Later in 2004 I was digging through my vault of unused drum recordings and stumbled upon a MiniDisc of a speedy and rocking drum-kit performance by my long-time musical collaborator Lowell Michelson. The drum track was a leftover idea from the sessions I did with Lowell for the Lost And Found album Something Different, and my own experimenting with Styx covers for 2003 Styx Tribute Album project.

Lowell had drummed along with me on a hyperactive attempt at the Styx song "Lorelei," but I never finished the song because (amazingly) no other artists wanted to record "Come Sail Away" so I ended up covering that song myself (you can't have a Styx Tribute album without "Come Sail Away"!). Therefore, the drum track for "Lorelei" was left untouched and available. The tempo of the track was just what I needed for "I Got A Problem," so I dumped the audio from MiniDisc into ProTools, chopped up the drum part to fit what I needed, and ended up with an awesome foundation for my song. Over the course of a year or so I added all the other instruments, including my all-time proudest moment as a keyboard player. Making a connection to the track's Styx-y beginnings, I dialed up a totally Dennis DeYoungish monophonic analog synthesizer sound on my keyboard and had ridiculous amounts of fun constructing the most grandiose solo I could muster. You can hear it for yourself on the Protestant Rock Ethic album.

So finally, "I Got A Problem" had found a home, and is now running free out in public. Two years after its release on CD, I've realized that Walter's initial "ehhh" reaction to the song way back in 2003 was an accurate one, from a public perspective. Of the thousands of people who have heard that song, not one of them has ever commented to me on it, or requested it. Now, that's okay with me...not every song can connect with listeners. BUT, it proves again something that I've learned before: the songs that I like the most, personally, are often NOT the ones that my listeners enjoy that much. Weird.

Ahh, but that's the way it goes in the creative biz. Some things hit, and others don't. But I'm very happy with the song myself, and I particularly enjoy playing the riff in the key of E, and especially the recurring minor-7 chords throughout. Here's the original 2003 acoustic demo, recorded in one take, and mixed earlier this week by engineer Micah Taylor. The lyrics are below...hope you like it!

I GOT A PROBLEM

i got a problem, it's making me cry
don't understand it as much as I try
i got a problem and i don't know what to do
my face is fixed in a permanent frown
all of this trouble has been wearing me down
i got a problem and it's got me feeling blue

when people see me they ask "what's going on?"
they can tell just by looking that something is wrong
i say "yes, there's a problem, that's obvious
and I'm trying to find my way out of this"
i got a problem

i got a problem i'm trying to solve
i'm thinking of what all that may involve
i got a problem but i ain't got a clue
my mind is racing but with nowhere to go
i'm losing sleep but with nothing to show
i got a problem and I'm trying to make it through

a mention in the new Paste Magazine, and a decade of support

As if inclusion in Daniel Radosh's New York Times list of "10 Great Christian Rock Songs. Really." wasn't cool enough, I was surprised and pleasantly warmed to receive a mention in the editorial found in the current issue of Paste Magazine.

Josh Jackson is the editor-in-chief of Paste, and he's taken the mag from a suspiciously-spiritual homey-yet-glossy 'zine in 2002 to its current state as the coolest and sharpest of the Barnes & Noble/Borders music/culture publications, all while competitors like Harp, No Depression, and even CCM have all recently folded (no pun intended).

This month Josh writes his editorial column reflecting on the past decade, stretching back to the pre-magazine era when Paste was primarily an online music retailer. Along with co-founder Nick Purdy, Josh gathered a bunch of bands online who shared his artistic (and maybe even spiritual) values, and and attempted to create a new marketing niche, with the tagline "connecting music to the soul." I'm thankful that I was invited to be a part of Paste from the very beginning.

My friend Beki Hemingway knew the Paste guys somehow, back in 1998, and they had invited her to join them on this new invitation-only online retail site, as well as on the debut Paste Music sampler CD. Beki kindly introduced Josh and Nick to my music at that time, and they enjoyed the album Recital that I had just released. My song "Tape," Beki's "Sinsick," and cool tunes by Pedro the Lion and Vigilantes of Love appeared on that first Paste sampler. Funny how a decade later, a good number of those early Paste artists would show up on Daniel Radosh's list from my previous blog posting! (Speaking of that first Paste Sampler...I just looked downstairs in my retail stash and I still have 5 unopened copies of it! Beki and I used to sell it along with our own albums at our shows back then.)

Later, as Paste launched the magazine and began to really ramp up their media empire, I stopped by their offices in Decatur, GA, back in 2003 when I was on tour in the area. It was fun to see behind the scenes at Paste, and Nick and Josh took me out to a good Mexican place for lunch, but the thing I'm happiest about regarding that visit was this: as I drove over to the Paste office, I had a strange idea for a song, so I pulled my car over on a busy Atlanta street and wrote, almost in its entirety, the lyrics for my song "Librarian." There was no library or anything nearby, but I got the lyrics of what would be the centerpiece song on my next album, which Paste featured in their magazine the following year.

Anyway, in the current editorial, Josh mentions some of the artists that have become celebrities since their earliest days on the Paste online retail site (Sufjan Stevens!), and gives some nice props to those of us from back then who are still out there driving, gigging, recording, and lurking on the fringes. Again, it's always a compliment to share a mention with folks like Bill Mallonee, John Austin, Christopher Williams, Jason Harrod, Annie Quick, and Jennifer Daniels.

Many times a year I meet people who know me 'cause of Paste. In fact, just last Saturday at my show in Milwaukee I met somebody who knew me thanks to my song "Front Row at the Fashion Show" being featured on the December 07 CD Sampler. I truly am thankful for the support of everybody at Paste, and the credibility, visibility, and community they've given to me for the past ten years. I take nothing for granted, and every baby step along the way is deeply appreciated! Thanks Paste, and write on.

Dylan, Bazan, Sixpence, Over the Rhine, and Rundman make the New York Times!

I've been keeping a lid on something these past few months, just to be sure it was gonna work out, but now I'm very pleased to go public with some very exciting and affirming news: One of my songs is quoted in an excellent new book, AND the author has been very supportive of my work, giving me some props in a piece he prepared for the New York Times!

First of all, writer Daniel Radosh emailed me today to let me know that he was asked by the Times for a submission for their "Living With Music" playlist (songs offered up by authors or other literary-world folks), AND that he included me (and my song "My Apology") in his list entitled "10 Great Christian Rock Songs. Really." CLICK HERE to read Daniel's list. It sure is nice to get such hefty press along with folks like Over the Rhine, Vigilantes of Love, Pedro the Lion, and pioneers like Larry Norman, and uh, Bob Dylan!

So, who's this Radosh guy anyway? He's a journalist from Brooklyn who writes for The New Yorker magazine, as well as many other publications, and who has just released a new book (published by Simon & Schuster) called Rapture Ready: Adventures in the Parallel Universe of Christian Pop Culture.

When he was writing the book,and immersing himself in the deep and weird universe of American Christian media and marketing he came upon my song "Xian Bookstore," which tackles the same issues with a similarly truthful yet snidely tone. Radosh emailed me last Fall to ask permission to quote my song in his book, and I was happy to oblige.

The book came out last Tuesday, and when I was on tour in Milwaukee, I went to Borders to look for it. They had three copies on the shelves, so I giddily bought one, and dug into it a bit in between gigging and driving. I'm only a third of the way through it, but the book is insightful and hysterical and sobering.

Here's a link to Daniel Radosh's blog, detailing his adventures with the new book, and currently offering audio samples of all the songs mentioned in his "10 Great Christian Rock Songs. Really" list.

I guess here's the nerd in me coming through: of course I love an appreciative audience when I perform a concert, and I love to know that normal people enjoy my recorded music in their everyday life, and it's amazing on the rare occasion I get to hear my music on the radio or in other broadcast media, BUT for me there's nothing so thrilling as reading a music review about myself in the press. Maybe 'cause I've enjoyed rock journalism so much ever since high school, and have been enlightened so many great artists thanks to the printed words of music writers. Big thanks to Daniel for the kind words, and for engaging such a strange topic with class and openness and fun.

shoveling, 4-tracking, and eating in Ishpeming

'Twas a wonderful Spring Break. I just got home last night, and spent today catching up on email and showbiz work. The kiddos and I spent a week in my homeland of Michigan's Upper Peninsula.

Drove to Escanaba first for a few days with my in-laws. A very fun visit, but the weather got pretty serious on us. When the time came for me to venture onward, North to Ishpeming, I was driving a few hours behind a massive snowstorm. They got 25 inches in 19 hours and it buried whatever signs of Spring that had been developing. I took out the camera and tried some right-hand shots of the lovely U.P. winter as I drove...forgive the risky driving behavior.

Once I crossed from Delta County into Marquette County, all the plows had turned around. The drive from Perkins to Ishpeming was like driving on the surface of Hoth. No trace of a road, lane lines, anything. Just a smooth, slippery white field. The trick was to aim the steering wheel near the center of the open space, hope to stay on the pavement, put both hands on the wheel and drive by faith. In that 30 mile stretch before Gwinn we only saw about 5 other cars, and two of 'em were in the ditch.

Paavo and Svea did a great job in the car during the many many hours we spent on the highway. Here's the boy behind me as we got close to the K.I. Sawyer turnoff. As we drove I was listening to a bunch of Robbie Fulks' albums shuffling on the iPod. A note to parents: if you're gonna listen to Robbie Fulks with the kids in the car, be ready to censor the songs using the volume knob. Robbie could drop the F-bomb at any time, so you must pay attention. Paavo can hear a song one time and have most of the lyrics memorized. The last thing I need is Paavo going back to pre-school and having him serenade his teachers and classmates with his renditions of "Dirty Mouth Flo," "Cigarette State," or "She Took a Lot of Pills and Died."

After crawling the entire 80 miles at about 35 miles per hour, and fish-tailing through the outskirts of Negaunee, we finally made it to Ishpeming. The streets in town were a disaster, and the city had sent out front-end loaders to clear the huge piles of snow. Massive accumulation over sheets of ice. I slid through a couple of stop signs (stupid traction control on my Saturn Vue), but made it safely to my parents house where I proceeded to get myself stuck in a giant snow bank right in front of their driveway.

Check out this shot of my Dad with his snow blower, coming to blast through the pile in front of me, giving me somewhere to escape. My Dad is 6'1"...check out the snowbank to his left. Thankfully he cleared some space in front of me, I dug out the huge pile beneath my vehicle, and I was able to revv my way out of there and get to the sanctuary of the cleared driveway. I've seen a lot of deep snow in my life, but this was one of the most intense short-term winter pileups I've ever witnessed.

Paavo and Svea enjoyed playing with their Grandparents, and I got to hang out and work on music with my uber-talented brother Tim. Last Wednesday afternoon I experienced one of those very rare songwriting events where a new tune just falls out of the sky. That afternoon I had a spark of a lyric idea, so I sat down with my lyric book and wrote the whole thing, music and all, in about 20 minutes. Then I called my brother over to play drums, I grabbed his pawn-shop acoustic guitar, we fired up the Tascam cassette 4-track and in less than an hour completely finished a brand new song. Tim played drums, penny whistle, and harmonica, and I sang, played acoustic guitar, and keyboard. We had no bass guitar, so I found a good low droney sound on the trusty Casio, we miked up the external keyboard speaker (no adapter to line in directly to the 4-track), and got a perfect sound. Then when the tracks were down, we dumped the whole mix into the computer and burned a disc. About 3 hours after I had the first idea for the song we were sitting out in my car listening to a final version of the song, ready for inclusion on my new album. It was a thrill. I haven't written a song this way for a long long time. If only they were all so effortless.

Tim and I celebrated our musical creation by walking downtown for a late dinner. We hoofed it through the snow, straight down Main Street with not a car in sight. Ishpeming was pretty much deserted. We ate at Mama Mia's Italian restaurant, and had my all-time favorite pizza and garlic bread. I had to take a picture of my food. Looks good, eh?

The drive back to Minneapolis on Sunday was much less treacherous, and I had my Mom in the car with me to help wrangle the children. She's staying with us this week so I can get some more studio work done, and then drive back into Wisconsin on Thursday for a long weekend of gigs in the Milwaukee and Chicagoland areas.

I love Michigan's Upper Peninsula, and I love the Twin Cities. It's nice to have both places to enjoy. I like to have my cake and eat it too. Or, have my Pasty and eat it too. Or Mama Mia's pizza, to be specific.